Tuesday, March 02, 2010

-----------------------It blured up like how I did too..

I remember, the previous 4 years, this time would be my most flustered period, its already 2nd of march, i'm unready, unprepared, indecisive of what to do, its pretty much 3 days away and i haven't crack the brightest and best solution out of its shell, just a little something that i would do just for you at that point of time, just a little try to make you fall for me ever so slightly, just a little attempt to savage this disintegrating pieces of what we've left after the time you silently vanished away with a string of text strung together and a letter of rejection to a confession i didn't make..


By this time, i'll be thinking of all the possibilities that i could make that one day special for you, that one chance to actually prove something i would do for you.. Then i would come out with something i'm certain all your previous hadn't done so, and then i'll be vacuumed into my own personal fantasy world, replaying how the scenario would unfold and reveal itself... However, somewhere deep down in my heart and brain, i know its not possible, i know its not going to work, i know it isn't even going to miracle-ly happen, that explains and further elaborate by the summary of how i have to pass through others just to give you something filled with my affection then, i can't even catch any glimpse of you, you don't know it but i was always waiting while thinking of you, just sitting there blankly trying to wait for you even though i never knew if you were even going, but i was always there, always with hope and always gone with my head hung low..

That time, i think i did really got smitten that period of time, i think you were everywhere in my heart, now i think you're just everywhere in my head..

Now, i don't feel it anymore, that confusion and mind blowing task of thinking of what to do for you, just for you.. this time, in the end, i suppose that i could hand it to you in person finally, but it wouldn't be the same anymore.. Because if its not real, you won't see it in my eyes


Correction, i do think of something to do, something unique, but just not for you anymore, and i'm not doing it in the end, because i don't want her to run away just like you did..Even if i don't know, you're in my heart or are you in my head and neither if she is just an excuse or another heartbreaking incident...But either way, my life wouldn't have been the same without you, i'm really enthralled to have met you.. i'm just unsure if i'm ready to move on..

I'm still too unsure and insecured to go or to leave..

You or you? I'm far too clouded to carry on i think..
What happens when i'm interested in 2 girls that both would run away and disappear?

K wilted at 11:15 AM

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